The Dream

So, I have been here in New York for over three years now, and it has been truly an experience. I have grown both emotionally and spiritually. It has definitely been a challenge but in such an eye opening way. I have changed so much about my life that looking back on what I was and what I am now. WOW. So here is my feeling behind change; we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But here’s the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes, change is ... EVERYTHING!

Everyday, I find myself walking down the street to work, or class and find myself dreaming of something better then what I have now. It always seems to be the same scenario too. I find myself living the perfect life with the perfect guy. You know someone that actually wants to be with me and not think they want something and does not. I am so tired of meeting guys that are wonderful and think they know what they want and in the end I get hurt and well am still alone. So for me, dreaming, it takes me away from my nightmare of sanity and lets me feel more in control. We try and tell ourselves that reality is better. We try and convince ourselves it's better that we should never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, hold on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all.

We all know what the dream is, we all have the same or something similar - that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals - find the guy, finish school, find a great job, have that family we want, and live a long and happy life, that's the dream. Then we get there. And if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because, if this is that dream, then we'd like to wake up. I know I do!

Unfortunately, too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people, who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.