Drowning

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass and, when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long before we finally realize the totality of all the lies. We are tired; we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth; it just helps for a brief moment. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing! So how do you keep from drowning in it? Honestly, there is no real answer. Denial makes it easier, makes life easier, you know to cope with. We sit there and pretend nothing is wrong and then BAM it hits us like a ton of bricks and, guess what. IT HURTS!!!

We feel the pain and well we just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more when you try. Maybe just maybe the solution here is to just face it and let it run its course.

So I think that we as humans are just not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is and just appreciate the small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human; to feel human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know and, maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is, I think, reason enough to celebrate.

So, like children we hope for everything to be ok. For us to be happy, like a fairy tale that will never end and we will become those prince and princesses we have read so much about. Unfortunately, we have to face life head on and well, grow up. Do we want to? HELL NO!! I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. So, like children, we never give up hope... that well something will turn right and shine through all odds.